Three chickens were murdered. Police think “fowl play” was involved. ----- Q. In Australia, what do they call a “boomerang” that doesn’t return? A. A stick. ----- After numerous attempts, and severe burns, Helen Keller “mastered” the waffle iron. ----- A “dead battery” walks into a bar and says, “How much for a beer?” “For you,” the bartender says, “no charge.” ----- Here lies Les Moore Shot with a .44 No Les No Moore ----- You may be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife. ----- Good News: The doctor said I have 24 hours to live. Bad News: He said he's been trying to reach me for the last three days! ----- I purchased a Butterfinger candy bar at the grocery store. I dropped it. ----- I make love in the dark only. I always make sure the car door is closed first. ----- After lengthy negotiations and a brief strike, Vlasic and the pickle union agreed to a new dill. ----- I’m sentimental about my furniture. My recliner and I go way back. ----- Q. Why did the blind man fall in the well? A. Because he couldn’t see that well.